A lot can change by simply phrasing questions a bit differently. Talking with teenagers could be its university-level major of study. Communication with adolescents is a delicate balance that requires a lot of patience and persistence. But you need to be more present than ever. But how can you be there for them? How can you keep your connection? Read more similar posts on our Bible teaching page of the site.
Understand Their Worries
We have all been teenagers; we understand the confusion and changes that we had to adapt to. When we try to understand their fears, we allow them to vent and become a source of comfort. Most of the time, you will find that you can relate to their frustrations and may be able to offer suitable advice to help them.
Treat your teens with respect.
Not listening when they talk and criticizing your teen’s ideas is disrespectful and unloving. Parents should do the opposite: listen and identify with their emotions. When you hear your child when they speak, listen to their heart behind their words, they will feel heard and respected.
Tap Into Your Own Experiences
Teenagers are at an exceptional stage of their lives where they are trying to discover and understand more about themselves and their world. This may get them into trouble with their parents as they develop an unmanageable side. In such a situation, the last thing you should do is to be quick to judge your child.
Use Technology As Your Aly.
Social media platforms, such as Facebook, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, and others, play integral roles in a teen’s life. These social media platforms are vital tools for keeping in touch with your teen and teaching good behavior. Learn to use these same tools and speak the same language in the same media. When you do, you build more bridges between yourself and your teen.
Talk honestly and openly with them.
Being open with our children is one of the hardest things to do as parents. We are so afraid that if we are honest with them we become weak in handling them. Greed is not everything they need to know. However, keep in mind that when you model honesty, they respect you more. Let them know the reality of their situations, but don’t over-talk, share the facts, tell them the truth, and be real with them.
Be Patient and calm.
Always pause before acting with them especially when you are angry. It can be frustrating when your teenager acts insolently, but threats and shouting at them worsen matters. As an adult, take a step back and ask yourself what was their real intention. For example, there could have been a point they were unable to express clearly, so think of ways to get them to communicate more effectively. If you find yourself unable to keep your composure, choose to continue the conversation when you feel calmer.
Display Interest in Their Interests
Take an active interest in what your children love to do. Learn more about their interests or hobbies and engage in those with them. This is the most direct way to make your teenage child feel that you care. It will help to create more conversational opportunities for both of you.
Get To Know Their Friends
Be intentional to find out about your child’s friends and get to know them and their parents. When you become active in your child’s social life, it will lead to healthier relationships between you and your teenager. As a parent, it allows your teen to communicate with you about their social life. More importantly, you will know if your children are mixing with the right group of people, and this will give you greater ease of mind when your teen is out.
Allow Your Teenagers to Play a Bigger Role In The Family
Being part of a household is more than doing chores or looking after the house. When you give your teen specific responsibilities, it helps to create a sense of ownership. So, involve them in family plans and treat them as young adults by asking for their opinions. Get your teenager to set their own rules and ensure that they stick to them.
Teaching your teenagers responsibility helps them to gain security, self-worth, independence, and strong skills for the world ahead. They have chores that are part of the lives they live that have no rewards, and they have additional tasks they can do for extra things, allowance, etc.
If they are 18 and living at home, even if it is a small amount, and contributing their skills to the house is important, Come up with something that will help teach responsibility, but also help support their lives and independence and they will understand it better.
Let them know you are not a Superman.
As a father, you are not perfect and will not ever be because you are human. While many act like Superman, let your child know that you are imperfect and that you do the best. Fathers sometimes are afraid their children may be defensive. Don’t be sensitive to being afraid or”found out, “you are just human. We all do things we are not proud of, own it, understand it, work to not repeat it, and move forward. Remember, honesty is the best policy.
Be a parent and not a friend.
You are the adult and guiding authority at home. Discipline when you need to and don’t pamper. Being the”cool father will get not you anywhere. Don’t think that being tough and firm when you must make them dislike you, Teenagers will do things to test the boundaries and limits. You must be the father, show them the consequences if there are not already natural ones in play, and be the parent that disciplines them safely.
Talk Less and Remember You Don’t Know It.
Learn to talk less, Fathers sometimes feel like they have much to say to their teens. Therefore, they say it all when the moment presents it. Parents have fears about their teens, so we often talk to reduce our fears. Some Keep in mind that many times we need to repeat ourselves to feel, validated, but trust that your child has heard the truth.
Show them how important you are to them, and share with them your feelings and thoughts, they need this just as much now as they did when they were little. If you are having a tough time with your teen, you may need to talk to a professional, family member, friend, or whomever. You don’t have to know it all or do it all on your own.
Allow Them to Make Their Mistakes.
There is no better lesson to learn than the ones we learn the hard way. Teenagers test every boundary, limit, expectation, and rule to the limit, often without even realizing the consequences. Allowing them to learn by facing the consequences of the things done is a huge lesson.
Give them the gift of learning it by being there for them when and after they have fallen. Support them in getting back on their feet but be sure you follow through with the consequences you have instilled, and or the outside world has, if it’s not important to you, it won’t be to them.
Lead by example.
We all know the things we do that we shouldn’t do, but we do them. Right? It’s about doing. Are we DOING what we want our teens to see? If we lie and don’t want our teens to lie, we must DO it too. If we womanize and don’t want our teens to womanize, we have to DO the opposite.
The whole “I’m a grown-up and I can do what I want and when you are a grown-up you can too” is a nice concept but we often find that what we do, we create our children to DO as well. Leading by example shows them respect for not only themselves but also for themselves.
Talk about Relationship Matters.
You probably know that today’s teenagers are getting younger, and they start having sexual advances early. Instead of locking your child in the house to protect them from irresponsible experiments, talk to your teen about relationship affairs and safe sex (yes, about that too).
Try to find out what your teen likes if you have the impression that they are in a relationship. If you pretend nothing is happening, your teen may become involved in a relationship that will hurt his or her future love life.
Pray for Your Teens
Sometimes the best way to build something is to have the right tools. If you are having a difficult time with your teen, that is OK, raising a human is the hardest job in the world, so give yourself some credit and know that you are doing the best you can with the resources that you have. Talk to God about them in prayer.
Take Home Lessons
- Understand that it is only natural that a teenager would want to spend more time with their friends at this stage in their lives
- Stay calm when things get heated, the only way you can get your message across is firmly and rationally. If you find yourself too angry to communicate clearly, you can always reschedule the conversation when you are in a better state. It gives the both of you more time to reflect and work towards understanding each other better.
Make an effort to understand what your child’s interests are and know more about the group of friends who are important to your child. Not only can you understand more about your child’s personality, but it also creates more opportunities for both of you to connect
