The importance of the family in every society cannot be over-emphasized. It was on this basis that this article looked at marriage and family in Christian ethics. It is noted that many family units constitute a nation. Hence, an ideal family builds a God-fearing Nation.
Introduction
Most problems in our society were traced to the upbringing of individuals at the family level. It is concluded that if Christian ethics of marriage and family relationships are adopted by Christian homes in Nigeria, most of our society’s problems especially moral decadence will be minimized.
The family is the most intimate and significant of all human relations. It is the cell unit of society and the matrix of personality one can develop into a person outside the fellowship of other persons, but no form of family can exist except when marriage is initiated.
Focus
Hence, marriage is not only a sacred union between man and woman in Christian ethics but also an important factor in the creation of future generations and society as a whole. (Genesis 2:20ff)
The need for Christian family units to contribute positively to the growth and development of the country necessitated the topic in view. Besides, the moral laxity of society and the high rate of broken homes demand a re-appraisal of the concept of marriage and family.
This article shall be divided into three parts. The first part comprises the definition of the term, the biblical basis for marriage, the purpose of marriage and the relationship between husband and wife. The second section focuses on the family relationships and the upbringing of children. The third aspect deals with the relationship between the church and the family.
Definition of Terms
According to Webster(1973), ethics is a set of moral principles or values; the principles of conduct governing an individual or a group. Therefore ethics is seen as a discipline that deals with moral values.
Christian Ethics
This concept like philosophical ethics has generated a lot of views among scholars. According to Keyeser(1926), Christian ethics is the Science that treats some of the sources, principles, and practices of right and wrong in the light of reason and nature. Emil Brunner (1974), defines Christianity as the science of human conduct that is determined by divine conduct.
For Harkness (1957) it is a systematic study of the way of life exemplified and taught by Jesus Christ applied to human existence. Barnette (1961) maintains that Christian ethics is a systematic explanation of the moral example and teaching of Jesus Christ applied to the total life of the individual in society and actualized by the power of the spirit.
From the above definitions, one can infer that Christian ethics aims to define the “Highest Good” and to use necessary principles of human action to achieve the goals of the “Highest Good”.Unlike philosophical ethics, the bible serves as the sole authority for Christian ethics. It contains the revelation of God and his will as the ethical goal for Man-revealed norms are therefore interpreted to make it relevant to contemporary moral ethos decisions.
Family
The word family has been defined in several ways. It consists of different types such as Natal, Conjugal, Nuclear, Extended and Polygamous families Literary, family simply means household. However, from the sociological point of view, which is of interest to Christian ethics, family is that social unit that is a person’s biological or adopted origin.
Focus
Bamisaiye(1990) observed that we are all born into a family in which we grow and from where we get introduced to society. She maintained that if for a certain reason, we cannot live with our natural parents, we are fostered by parents’ surrogates who then take over the parental responsibilities of bringing us up.
Therefore, by family, we mean a social unit comprising of biological that is, blood relations and foster parents who affect later personality development and character formation of children as well as adults.
The Biblical Bases of Marriage
Marriage is a divinely ordained relationship or union between man and woman. In the book of Genesis 1:27-28, the created man needed a counterpart of a “Helper fit for him”. Marriage, therefore, is God-given because when Adam saw the woman God made for him, he declared“This, at last, is bone of my bones, and the flesh of my flesh of my flesh”.
Focus 1
This signifies unity and responsibility both physical and spiritual. This union is buttressed in Gen. 2:20-24 which says that man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh. Although men and women are in this unique union, they do not lose their individuality. This is the mystery surrounding marriage
Some people believe that it was based on this Jewish culture that St. Paul relegated the position of women in the church and at home when he said the head of a woman is her husband…(1 Cor.11:13.
But one might argue here that St.Paul’s position about women is not a new law. god has placed a woman as second in the home right from creation and ordained her as a man’s help mate. In 1 Peter 3; it is noted that Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord.
Focus 2
Besides, Merril(1977) argued that what St. Paul meant when he said that the husband is the head of the house, is a man who has given himself to serve his wife and his children because he loves them, and not the autocratic. Love and respect for one another form the core concepts in Christian marriage. In Eph. 5:21, couples are advised to submit themselves to one another in fear of God.
Also, men are advised to give honour unto their wives since they are the weaker vessels and are heirs together of God. Jesus Christ noted and elevated the place of women when he said that in the resurrection, there is no marriage but couples are like angels in heaven.
(Matt.22:23). This incurred the wrath of the Jews against Him. Therefore, Christian ethics does not encourage such compulsory servile obedience practised by Jewish women which most Nigerian women are still subjected to.
The Purpose of Marriage
The purpose of marriage is outlined in the Bible which is the ultimate source and sole authority for Christian ethics. The primary objective of marriage according to the earliest creation narrative is that of companionship. In Gen. 2:18, the Lord God said”It is not good that the man should be alone and wife for their mutual enrichment andfulfillment.
Focus 1
Procreation and rearing of children is a secondary purpose of marriage. In Gen. 1:28, men are encouraged to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth. Therefore children are regarded as gifts and blessings from God. Adam named his first son Cain which means I have gotten a man with the help of the Lord. (Gen.4:1). Job 1:21 supports that…the Lord gave and the Lord has taken away.
However, barrenness does occur and in such a situation, one would suggest that such couples should adopt other children and train them in the fear of the Lord. Unfortunately, most marriages break up due to childlessness. Many people including Christians refuse to see childbearing as a secondary reason for marriage for fear of lineage extinction.
Focus 2
Christianity cut across cultural beliefs on non-procreation because there is no child and parent relationship in heaven. (Matt. 22:23ff). The Western world seems to understand more this aspect of Jesus Christ’s teaching because it is the companionship of the couple that is paramount in the birth, that’s when we decided to adopt”.Adoption therefore offers couples the limited opportunity to have a limited.
The third reason for marriage is constructive sexual fulfilment. 1 Cor.7:3-5 A wife has no power of her own body but her husband and vice versa are necessary to carry on the race.
Marriage therefore provides continuous forms of association for man and woman, in which the powerful sex urge is sublimated. Sex serves to meet human needs and to avoid disrupting personality and society.
Focus 3
Small(1970) proffered that sexual union represents man as a complete person that is, imagining God most perfectly. He stressed that sexual self-identity is intrinsically a part of an individual’s self-understanding, and this self-identity cannot develop except about its opposite. Hence, the unity that is possible in marriage becomes necessary.
It is in a marriage that sexual relationships and fulfilment are best achieved.Small(1970) concluded that a man is not a “Man without a woman, a woman is not complete without a man”.Therefore sexual interdependency is important for establishing self-identity.
Focus 4
In Christian ethics, sex outside marriage is forbidden. Jesus Christ said”….. everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart”(Matthew 5:28) Therefore, marriage is the only institution where sexual act is permitted. Bainton (op cit) observed that the basic purpose of marriage was conceived to be a remedy against sin.
However, most Nigerians are perhaps guilty of causal sexual relationships. Fornication and adultery are very common. Society seems to see no ‘harm’ in these ungodly habits despite the tragic results that come from extramarital sexual unions.
Conclusion
For example, many youths have lost their lives through abortion and sexually transmitted diseases. (STD) and the Acquired Immune Deficiency (AIDS), thereby reducing Nigerians ‘ labour force. Besides, virginity, which used to be a sign of virtue has become a thing of the past. Young people get impregnated before wedlock.
Although this is accepted by some cultural groups in Nigeria, one might not hesitate to point out here that Christian ethics is against this form of culture since it is contrary to the will of God and the teaching of Jesus Christ. Nevertheless, the only way the sexual ills could be corrected is by parental exemplary lives, introducing sex education into homes, and raising children in the fear of the Lord. Read more similar posts on our family ministry page of the site.
